I want something else to get me through this life

"semi-charmed life" by third eye blind & the cats that inspired Lenore

When was the last time you revisited “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind?

Because I’ve been listening to my ‘90s alternative playlist lately and something made me actually click on the lyrics to this one and . . . wow. Were the lyrics always this lewd? (Yes.) I guess I spent so much time fixating on the way they scrambled the words “crystal meth” for the radio even though we all knew what he was referring to that I didn’t focus on, uh. All the other parts. It also helps that I straight cannot understand half of what he’s singing and even when he enunciates my sweet little 13yo brain must’ve replaced words with ones that made more sense to me. He’s saying how do I get back there to the place where I fell asleep BESIDE you, right?

The music video is also QUINTESSENTIAL ‘90s formula. Lead singer walking and singing straight to the camera. Cut to band playing live in a small room. Cut to young hot extras doing Young Hot Extra Stuff. Looking moody! Riding mopeds! Dancing! Shoving someone at a party! Do you ever stop and think about how all these tiny moments stick in our brains, become artifacts we carry around with us, and all they are are things like “the time Stephen Jenkins stumbles in the middle of walking down the sidewalk and does a little spin” or “the way the mopeds all come over the hill when he sings ‘goodbye’?” Like why when I see an American flag patch on a leather jacket should I think of Stephen Fucking Jenkins? Why do I have the urge to circle my finger around my ear when I hear the line “I believe in the sand beneath my toes?”

Anyway. You know who else leads a semi-charmed kind of life?

CATS.

Hahahaha how was that for a transition? I’ve been wanting to talk about the real life cats behind Lenore in Love in the Time of Serial Killers, so I figured this was as good an opportunity as any.

I love the little cat on the spine of the book! I have been in a dangerous “I’ll get a tattoo of anything; I don’t even care what” type of mood lately so maybe I should go get that little cat real quick.

If you’ve read LITTOSK, you know that the main character, Phoebe, has this journey with a stray cat she (spoiler alert) ends up adopting as her own and naming Lenore. The lovely Emma Hill wrote an entire essay analyzing Lenore as a foil for Phoebe, and when I say it’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever had happen to me as an author, I really mean it. An essay! With page cites and everything!

It’s funny, though, how writing works. As I went on, I def saw Lenore’s role as a symbol in the story and leaned into it, but I initially wrote her in because I just . . . like cats. And specifically because of three cats, who I will now introduce to you (with a bonus fourth).

Lenore

I’ve gotten several DM’s from people saying Lenore is a great name for a cat, and I COULD NOT AGREE MORE! One of my oldest, best friends has a cat named Lenore, and I texted her when I was working on LITTOSK to ask if I could borrow the name for the cat in my book. This Lenore, if you can’t tell by the pictures above, does not take any bullshit from anyone. She does not suffer fools. We built a special relationship anytime I would visit my friend’s charming little Oakland apartment because she would act like she didn’t care about me (pretty sure it was an act) and I would act like I didn’t care about her (definitely an act!) and then by Day 2 we’d be on the couch eating ice cream and watching Downton Abbey and Lenore would nonchalantly come and curl up half on my feet and my friend and I would look at each other like SHE’S DOING IT SHE LIKES ME! Once she even slept with me on the couch all night! My friend assured me this was a big deal and I glowed and glowed (and also rubbed my eyes a lot, because I am mildly allergic).

Then my children came with me to visit one time and Lenore put us all back in the category of fools lol. Oh well. I still think we have a healthy respect for each other. My friend recently moved into a two-story house and Lenore spent quite a long time refusing to go downstairs as long as the dog was on the lower level. It was an animal version of Downton Abbey with some upstairs/downstairs dynamics for real.

But I mean LOOK at this distinguished cat!! This is a cat who knows how to take an author photo, which is more than I can say for myself!

DTC

The real DTC aka Dirty Trash Cat, also known by his government name Linus, is very special to me because I was part of his origin story. My friend and I were at our usual Barnes & Noble haunt, probably sucking down coffee at 8pm and standing in front of Scar Tissue to flip through the pictures Anthony Kiedis saw fit to include in his book. When we finally went out to the parking lot to part ways, we noticed a girl crouched down by her jeep, seemingly talking to herself. I can’t even convey the energy of this girl, she was VIBRATING, so of course we stopped to see if everything was okay. The issue was that there was a cat under her jeep, she said, and he wouldn’t come out, and she didn’t want to run over him, but also she didn’t know if he was all right, and she couldn’t take him home, she didn’t even like cats, but she did have some horse biscuits in the back of her jeep if we thought those would help lure him out?

This process took at least an HOUR, but long story short — we got him out with no need for any horse biscuits, he did have a slightly injured leg but he’s fine now, and my friend has never met a cat she didn’t want to take home so she wrapped him in a hoodie and texted me updates all night and now he’s her son.

If the pictures above don’t convey “I was found near a dumpster but now I’m living the HIGH LIFE and I KNOW IT” I don’t know what would.

Mitzi

If you want to really picture Lenore from LITTOSK, this is the actual physical cat I was thinking of as I was writing her. Much like the fictional Lenore, she was a neighborhood cat who started coming around and hanging in our driveway. I’d be out there, painting with the kids, and she’d wander up and just twine around our legs and whine at us to pick her up. She was so friendly and sweet! She would sit in your lap and knead/suck on your shirt for hours (not to get on the therapist couch with a cat but there were definitely some insecure attachment issues there). We created this story in our heads about how she just really wanted a home, and she didn’t belong to anyone (she really didn’t — we checked with the neighbors), so we tried taking her in.

Unfortunately, this is where I wrote the story the way I wanted it to happen rather than the way it did happen. Because turns out . . . Mitzi was a street cat. She wanted to be outside. She was always running out, and she got really mean once she was in the house. Hissing, biting, just NOT INTO IT. And if you tried to play with her, she’d be like DON’T PATRONIZE ME I’VE ACTUALLY TASTED THE SWEET THRILL OF A KILL YOUR FEATHER ON A STRING TOY INSULTS ME.

Eventually, she just kept running and we let her go. We still see her around the neighborhood all the time, she still comes up in our driveway, we’ve put food out for her, but we had to accept that some wild hearts aren’t looking to be tamed.

Luna

Which brings me to Luna! Our new little kitten. (Well, relatively new — we’ve had her since August and she’s about 7 months old now.) We got her a pretty typical way, which is to say I saw a post on Next Door that said “free kittens” and then went to this woman’s house where when I asked if the cat knew how to use the litterbox yet, she brought me into the bathroom and started exaggeratedly scooping cat shit out of the litterbox with a big smile on her face like, “See? Like this!” (There was a language barrier, but I still think about this every single time I scoop the cat’s litter.)

There were three kittens at this woman’s house, and when I arrived with my two kids she set one each in their hands and then went off to find the third one. The one in my son’s hand jumped down almost immediately. The woman eventually dragged her daughter down the stairs, clutching the missing kitten and saying, “I want to keep this one, Mom! Please!” which of course made me immediately go the FUCK I’m going to rip a kitten out of a child’s hands ABSOLUTELY NOT you guys can keep that one. Meanwhile, the kitten she’d set in my daughter’s hand stayed right there, just curled up in a little ball, calm as can be. So we took her home, and halfway there the kids agreed on the name Luna, which means I was like THAT’S IT THEN THAT’S THE NAME STOP TALKING NOW because my biggest fear was that they were going to pick two diametrically opposed names and then get their feelings hurt if theirs wasn’t picked. I do not like to hurt children’s feelings! So sue me!

So, I know that when Stephen Jenkins said “I want something else to get me through this life,” he was probably talking about, idk, sex or drugs or something. But how about a pet? A warm little ball of fur who lives in your house and snuggles up with you and every once in a while, rarely (every day) is a little shit, but also expands your family with cuteness and love?

There are no cats in With Love, from Cold World — I’m sorry! But there WILL be some pretty cool preorder swag, and I’d be happy to personalize/sign your copy any way you want if you order from Tombolo Books. You just have to put any personalization request in the comment section! I doodled little cats in a lot of copies of LITTOSK, but I have something else in mind to doodle for this one ;)

Currently reading . . . I finally started The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay after picking it up a year ago from the Little Free Library near my work (RIP!). I’m only through Part I but already it’s so rich and textured and I’m loving it a lot.

watching . . . I was hanging at my friend’s the other day (with DTC, actually!!!) and we had the newest season of Unsolved Mysteries on in the background. For whatever reason, the episode Mystery at Mile Marker 45 has me ALL FUCKED UP. Like, I could not sleep that night. I know I may have a reputation to keep up, given the title/content of my first book, but true crime stuff can get to me!!! I am not immune! I could not get that grainy deer cam footage of that poor girl out of my head!!!

listening to . . . My friend and super talented artist posted the below art on her Instagram, which of course sent me flying to my ‘90s alternative playlist. She’s at least partially responsible for this trip down memory lane into the shocking lyrics of “Semi-Charmed Life.” I highly recommend you give her art account a follow — it always cheers me up whenever it comes up in my feed.